


Bad Boy

by Abiggaynerd



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Based on that one "so I heard u like bad boys" thing, M/M, WHY ISNT THERE MORE KLEINSEN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 06:59:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11618388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abiggaynerd/pseuds/Abiggaynerd
Summary: Evan has been acting strange.





	Bad Boy

Evan had been acting strangely.

It had started when Evan had ran up to Jared in the hallway so fast he had slipped and fallen on his face, gotten up just as fast, almost tripped again, and leaned against his own locker in a nonchalant pose, breathing heavily. 

Jared held his breath, face going red from the effort it took not to laugh. 

"Hey," Evan said, weirdly intoning the "e" and voice squeaking on the "y". He made a face, and shook his head, trying again. "He-" He burst into a coughing fit. 

Jared was a hero, a beacon of hope to all, the very image of self control. Against all odds, he still didn't laugh.

He watched Evan catch his breath, work the spit out of his lungs. Evan looked back at Jared with a forced smile on his face. 

"So, how's. How's it hang- happen- um. going." Evan's hand darted out to unlock the locker. He missed. Still resolutely looking at Jared and not at the locker, he tried again. And again. 

Jared was unable to answer the question, too caught up in the drama that was Evan's hand and the locker that he kept banging into. 

Eventually, Evan huffed and turned to open his locker with the added advantage of being able to see. It wasn't his locker.

Evan grimaced. 

Evan turned toward Jared once again, apparently deciding he didn't need whatever was in his locker. He awkwardly put his hand next to Jared's face, leaning over him. 

"You're so good looking. Bet you um- wish you were smarter, though?"

Jared's mouth dropped. 

"I- I didn't mean that! You're very smart Jared! I mean, not that you're not good looking, I just meant I didn't mean the thing about wishing you were smarter-"

Jared wasn't strong enough to stand up to that. He lost his shit in the hallway. Tears came out of his eyes. He could barely breath.

"HOLY- SHIT-" Jared wheezed. 

It took Jared a good few minutes to stop laughing. The stares people gave them going by made Evan shrink into himself.

Jared patted Evan on the shoulder. "Evan, you are a fucking treasure."

Evan pouted, and was about to say something, but the bell rang and they both ran off to their next class.

\---

Jared was waiting in the mall, somewhat concerned. Evan was never late- his anxiety over it usually had him somewhere half dressed an hour in advance. He checked his phone. Five minutes late.

His phone lit up with a text- "I'm outside the sears. come meet me."

After sending Evan an assortment of emojis, because that was 90% of his vocabulary, Jared went to meet Evan. 

Jared was not disappointed. 

Evan was wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses, which was.... Hilarious, because they were both too big for him. But more importantly, he was leaning on a motorcycle.

"Evan!" Jared said. "You're late! You made me worry. Asshole."

"Am-am I late?" Evan said, clearly going for nonchalant and failing. He pushed his sunglasses up. "Oh. I didn't even realize." 

"Well, the movies gonna start in like, a half hour, so let's go get tickets. I don't wanna miss the previews."

Evan gaped at Jared for a moment, before regaining his composure.

"Hey, uh, notice anything?"

"Besides your mother's old leather jacket from collage?"

Evan sputtered. "How did you know??!?"

"Your mother and I have spent many an hour going over her old photo albums, Hansen. Also it says Heidi Hansen in embroidery on the bottom."

"....Well that's not what I meant! Look!"

Evan pointed to the motorcycle he was leaning on. Jared was legitimately shocked.

"Your mom got you a motorcycle??!"

Evan nodded, face turning into something that resembled smugness. "Yeah... It's okay I guess..."

Jared's face turned to one of concern. "What the fuck are you thinking?? What was she thinking?? That's the worst idea I've ever heard, Evan! You can barely drive a normal car on a good day, what makes you think you can drive a motorcycle?? Do you even have enough money for this??"

Evan's lips was pressed together tightly. "Uh."

Before Evan was able to say something, someone came up to them.

"Get off my bike, kid."

Evan yelped and jumped away, mumbling apologies. Jared managed to hold it together until the person drove away.

"FUCK- HOW WERE YOU EVEN GONNA-" wheeze "EXPLAIN IT TO ME WHEN I NEVER SAW IT AGAIN??"

"I was gonna say mom sold it because I wasn't obeying traffic safety laws..."

Jared was doubled over. Evan groaned. 

Jared finally caught his breath. He grinned, lopsided, at Evan.

"Alright, Evan. Let's go watch the fucking emoji movie."

\---

"Hi, Heidi!!"

Heidi smiled warmly at Jared, picking up her purse. "Hello, Jared!" She wrapped Jared in a hug, quickly, before moving to leave. "Evan should be in his room! I'll be out till late. Money for food is on the counter, love you honey!"

"Love you too, Heidi," Jared said. He waved, before walking to Evan's room.

Evan was deep in thought, looking at something on the internet.

"Hey."

Evan shrieked, slamming his laptop closed.

"You watching porn, Evan?" Jared teased. "What kinda porn? Bet it's some real kinky shit, like uh, your tree fetish."

"Yep!" Evan squeaked. "Watching porn! You got me!"

Jared frowned, confused- Evan obviously wasn't watching porn. Deciding to step off, he flopped onto Evan's bed.

"What big plans do you have for us today? Better not bore me, Hansen."

Evan wrung the hands in his lap, swirling his seat around to look at Jared. "Well, I got some, uh, Alcohol."

Jared sat up, interested. Jared was always the one who provided them with Alcohol. "Really? How'd you get your hands on it?"

"I, took- took it from my mom? From her room?"

"Holy fuck, Evan." Jared grinned. "You're a fucking rebel."

Evan preened, adorably. Jared's face grew hot. He shook it off.

"So, where is it?"

Evan jumped a little. "Oh! It's, um, right here!!" He pulled it out of one of the drawers of his desk. "We can have it right now!"

Jared knew immediately something was wrong with the bottle. "Uh, Evan-"

It was too late, though. Evan had already put it in his mouth.

"FUCK!!"

Evan spat the liquid out of his mouth, coughing and hacking. 

"That's hand sanitizer."

Evan continued sputtering. "Yeah, I know that NOW!!"

"Did you seriously not realize that wasn't real alcohol?"

"N-no... I just saw the word "alcohol" and grabbed it..." Evan was now frantically rubbing the taste off his tongue. 

Jared took the bottle of rubbing alcohol from Evan and set it down.

"Oww," Evan moaned. "This tastes so bad..."

Jared patted Evan on the back. "Let's just have me get us alcohol from now on, buddy."

"Okay..."

"Also, I'm pretty sure that shit is like, poisonous, so let's call poison control."

\---

Jared was beginning to get.... A little worried. 

The way Evan was acting had been funny, really funny, fucking hilarious actually, and while yes, it was still funny, Jared was beginning to suspect something was up.

It had been days and Evan still hadn't stopped... Whatever it was he was doing.

"Oh hey, Jared," Evan said, the next time Jared came over to his house after the hand sanitizer incident. He was sprawled over the bed and fiddling with a pocket knife. "What's up."

"Hey," said Jared. "Wait- what the fuck?"

Evan licked his knife. 

"Ow, fuck! I cut my tongue, fuck!"

"Of course you cut your tongue! You licked a knife! What the fuck?"

"This is nothing like the internet said, Ow, ow, fuck, ow-" 

Jared grabbed Evan a tissue and stuffed it in his mouth.

"Phank uu."

Jared slapped his forehead. "Evan, what is up with you!!" 

"Huh?"

"You've been acting really weird, and I'm starting to get worried." Jared winced. That sounded kinda gay. "Asshole." There, fixed it.

"Mmmmmmmm." Evan moaned, covering his face.

"Tell me what's going on," Jared ordered. He crossed his arms. Evan sighed, and spat out his tissue.

"Fine," Evan mumbled. 

Jared waited. Evan didn't say anything.

"Evan."

"Okay okay! I'm going!" Evan bit his lip, and took a deep breath. "I was...trying- trying to um. Act like a uh, bad. Boy?"

Jared stared at Evan for a moment. 

"What?"

"Like, you know on Tv and stuff how um. There are those bad boys? Like, with motorcycles and sunglasses and rudeness?"

"Yeah...?"

"I was trying to. Be. One."

Jared stared at Evan for a moment, before bursting into laughter.

"Don't laugh!"

Jared managed to contain himself after a moment. "Sorry, sorry, go on?"

"Um, so I looked up on the internet how to. Be bad. Like backhanded compliments and showing up late and stuff..."

Jared covered his mouth to keep from laughing again. Evan stared at his lap.

"But why would you even do that?" said Jared. Evan hummed uncomfortably. 

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence. 

"Imayhavekindadoneittogetyoutolikeme."

Jared blinked, all traces of mirth gone. "What?"

"You heard me!"

Jared processed what Evan had said.

"You did it to get me to... like you?"

Evan nodded, eyes screwed tightly shut, face as red as a tomato. 

"You- you like me? Like, in the gay way?"

"Yes! But it- it obviously didn't- didn't work so just go away because- cause I know you hate me now and just go away you don't need to make me feel worse!"

Jared's face was heating up, and he was pretty sure he was dreaming.

"Why did you even- like, why did you think I'd be into that?"

Evan whined. "It said it was a good way to get people to like you online..."

Jared realized Evan was on the verge of a panic attack. He took a step closer, slowly, still half convinced this was a dream. 

"You know, bad boys aren't really my type."

Evan looked up at that. "Huh?"

"My type is more... nervous wreck."

Evan's eyes lit up. "Oh! You're the bad boy!"

"What the fuck-"

"You have the backhanded compliment they talked about down perfectly!"

"Fuck you, asshole!"

"See? That's bad boy behavior-"

"I'm trying to tell you I LIKE YOU TOO, Evan!!"

Evan's face got even redder. "You- you do?"

Jared looked away, embarrassed. "Yes."

He looked back in time to see a huge grin spread across Evan's face. "Really?!?"

"Yes, Evan, jeez-"

And suddenly Evan was kissing him, and it was perfect.

Until he tasted blood.

"Stop, stop-"

Evan backed away, looking horrified. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Evan, I love you and I would love to make out with you, but your mouth isn't going near mine until your tongue heals."

Evan relaxed, and laughed.

"So I guess all that bad boy stuff was kinda pointless-"

"Yeah. You were really bad at it."

"Because you're the bad boy."

"Fuck you!!"


End file.
